No Mum, I do not wish to enlighten you. If you don't know already then I don't feel like elaborating. I mean, how do I tell you that you're the problem?
You always assume that I'm acting out of vindictiveness like I'm that sort of bitch. And then you expect it to all be okay, I'm not going to be grumpy, it's all chill. Well it's not. I don't like it when you put words in my mouth. You don't really know me at all. You're always surprised when I'm grumpy, always. I'm always grumpy, usually right from the moment you walk through that door because you can't leave work at work.
You're a stresshead.You are all stressheads. And you yell, and yell, and yell and treat us like it's our fault. And then you have all these double standards and I'm always being blamed for something because I just can never manage to be that perfect child. None of us can. My sister clenches her jaw and seems to have anxiety issues, my brother has anger management issues big time and I have depression and self harm. Does no one see a trend?
I don't want this. I don't want any of it. I don't want to know. I want to disappear. Go away. Find some place where I'm actually happy. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just a victim of circumstance or whether the universe is just playing some cruel joke.
It's not a funny joke either. It's borderline sadistic.
It's not a passing moment either. I can trace the bullying that fed this torture back to age four.
BACK TO AGE FOUR.
There is no God.
- CG
