So, now that I've dropped 6-7kg in the past 6 weeks and haven't been able to put it back on, I don't know what I'm going to do. What can I do? I finally start eating again, and then I plummet like I always knew would happen in the end. So I'm going to stop eating again very quickly, and my weight at present is a relatively healthy 65kg, but it just does not sit well on my frame. My hip bones and collar bone have never portruded so much. There is most definitely reason for concern, but there is simply nothing I can do. What in God's name is a counsellor going to achieve, I ask you. Probably nothing, because I'm an obtuse little brat. But I wasn't born like that, so what caused that? Well that is another can of worms for another day.
I suppose I should start introducing myself as that "stupid-emo-cripple-with-dandruff-in-her-hair-who-is-also-no-longer-allowed-to-put-her-head-down-on-tables-and-is-also-a-bitch-who-throws-coke-bottles-in-the-bin". Phew, that was long. But yes, that is apparently my new nickname, if you listen to a certain girl, which more former friendship group apparently does. I don't understand how the could just sit there and let her degrade me like that. And they knew how much the words stung me, and they still sat there. And my best friend, she wouldn't sit next to me in class. She walked straight past me. Are they ignoring what she said to me and just focusing on the part where I dropped her coke bottle in the bin? Because she bloody deserved that and I make no apologies.
I'm so shattered, about this, and that I had to self harm, and that it still doesn't feel any better.
Qu'est-ce que c'est le point?
Bye for now but not forever,
- the original CG and Hope
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