Lol

I'm not laughing or anything, but 'lol' is a word I like to hide behind. It gives the impression that I'm happy and attentive, which I am not. 

Deep inside I'm constantly revaluing myself and this vicious cycle will eventually do some major damage, if it hasn't already of course. 

All I really want to do now, is change this life for something new. After my dreaming, I woke with this fear, what am I leaving when I'm done here? When my time comes, please forget the wrong that I've done and don't resent me. I'm strong on the surface, but not all the way through, I've simply learnt to hide the hurt. 

The hardest part of ending is starting again.

- CG