Today's weight: 68.5kg
Is it to much to ask for a good day? Where people just let me be happy? Is it?
Apparently.
Because I'm a disappointment because my walls aren't lined with an array of awards for my mother to brag about. And that's really disappointing, naturally. How dare I not be her honour roll child who is perfect, happy and has a nice normal job at Safeway. How.Dare.I. And how dare I like to to be left alone! How dare I be moody. How dare I like privacy. How dare I have a fucking personality.
I don't even like them. They seem to make a sport of upsetting me. And then when I'm all upset and shitty and don't want to talk to them they go mental and tell me its all my fault. It's not my fault, so fuck off. I don't come home to be put down. It takes five minutes after a good morning at work to bring me back down. Between school and home life is just fine and dandy.
I'm obsessed with my weight, I cut, I'm depressed and I can't decide whether I'm angry or upset. What's the point of this? Is it to make me hate life? Because I hate life.
No amount of butterflies, people telling me they care, the pretence of care at home, or the pretence of normality is going to fix that.
Fuck.It.All.
- CG
I can totally relate to family issues, especially parents, its same with my parents, I'm not allowed to be moody, or have some space, it feels like they dont understand at all at times and misinterpret every thing I say and do. I dont know if its just being a teenager or just relationship issues with parents, all i can say is, you are definitely not the only one who expreiences this, this happens to me everyday and I dont really feel like there is anything i can do to fix it. so just stay strong :)
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