No One Wants to Own my Issues

Today's weight: 68kg

So, I saw one of my many specialists (past and present) today. She bounced me off to yet another specialist because the genetics department at the Royal Children's wants nil to do with me. They had some fancy name for "you're in the grey zone". Which basically means that I have some issues that could be in their department but they've elected to send me back. THE BASTARDS. So thanks to my issue with a certain medication that isn't a textbook side effect it probably isn't safe. So they're sending me to another specialist! Now watch this other one send me back. I'M NOT A FUCKING BALL. Stop treating me like one. I'm tired of ending up in the too hard basket. Do you understand the worthlessness that implies. That I'm not worth the time. How I'll never work this out, because you lot won't spend the time thinking. Using that apparent superior intelligence you lot apparently have. MAKE IT BETTER FFS.

I don't understand how modern medicine can sit there and marvel at me week after week. I don't understand at all.

And seriously, like I needed this on top of everything else that's going on. I'm just over it. Had enough, putting the breaks on. Forget it. I don't even care about school anymore. I only get so much homework done because I hate socialising at the moment. I'd rather sit in the library so everyone can think I'm a nerd than sit in a moody silence with people.

I don't get to win in life. I just suffer. And hurt. And ask why. Of course, no one ever has any answers. I'm just in that damned too hard basket.

Tonight this'll end in cuts.

Tomorrow, who knows.

In a month? The solution may be those horrendous anti depressants. Let's hope it doesn't come to that because I'm telling you right now I've had a gutfull of medications and won't have anymore. Specially not ones that are out to regulate my body. Like I said, had a gutfull of those.

- CG